Dream, with extra sugar

“My dream is to become a Movie star”, the minute my friend finished his sentence, uncontrollable laughter from our table filled the coffee shop. “Sir, can I get your autograph in advance?” other friends fired in their sarcasm, “When you turn all rich and famous, you won’t have time for us.” My friend sat there dejected, waiting for the jokes to die. For an aspiring actor, he did badly at hiding his emotions.

“I believe in him. He would make it big one day.” I said, not out of loyalty or pity, but out of the natural sanguinity and optimism of a kid, “Who knows, after 10 years, we will all be watching his movie together. You never know!” He smiled. I smiled. The jokes died. And we got back to our coffee again.

*****

“And some extra sugar please”, I said and the man behind the counter nodded. A young boy beside me waited for his coffee too. He drummed his fingers and tapped his foot at the same time and then glanced back at his table. He smiled and a pretty young lady on his table smiled back. The man at the counter rolled his eyes at what he saw. The boy took his order and walked back coyly to his blushing date.

Another couple walked in, glancing at the much younger couple and suppressing a laugh. “Kids these days! If only they spent half the time and effort on their books,” my older friend laughed as she sipped her coffee. I walked silently to my table with my coffee and extra sugar as my friend kept joking about how kids are naïve. And how after few years they might not even get to see each other, leave alone ‘seeing’ each other.

I kept stirring in the sugar. I kept mum because I didn’t want to admit what I felt. I could relate with the counter-boy’s eye rolling. I could see the point in older couple’s chuckles. I even agreed with my friend’s predictions. And I could not relate with the artlessness and optimism of the kids. And it bothered me.

I still preferred my coffee sweet, but I had started to like my reality bitter.

In the past few years I had seen all kinds of dreams mauled and thrashed in every possible ways. Some drifted away to a place far off, some discarded to the shore. A lot of beautiful blue prints torn into pieces by ‘life’. And slowly, I metamorphosed into a cynic. I had started using words like ambitions and fantasies to separate the feasible from the non-feasible. And it bothered me.

It had been long since I had seen a girl being flattered more by a guy’s chivalry than by his bank account, looks and status. The young man seemed pleased simply by her presence. Their ingenuousness seemed like a blessing to me.

“They do seem cute together. But then nothing lasts. Cuteness included,” my friend passed another comment at the blissfully oblivious kids.

“I believe in them. Who knows, 10 years later they would still have coffee together like this.You never know!” I said not to refute my friend nor as a silent wish for the kids. But to feel what it felt like when I used to believe in people’s dreams. To bring back something I had lost in my way. And it felt good.

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About sayali611

Spent a lifetime building a wall around myself, only to realize that what remained inside was as hideous as anything I would protect myself from. This blog is my attempt to break free, one brick at a time, and to make sense of what was blocked out.

Posted on June 10, 2011, in Dreams, happiness, Life-lesson, People, Words and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 26 Comments.

  1. I still preferred my coffee sweet, but I had started to like my reality bitter
    awesome can completely relate to it,with time our luck turns us into a cynic or a believer!One particular paragraph had such poignant beauty associated with it.

  2. Yes I love this line “I still preferred my coffee sweet, but I had started to like my reality bitter.” as well. I’m in my 40s, but I feel 12 in many ways. I still believe in dreams because our aspirations can keep us going. I’ve seen too many break-ups and crushed hopes around me, but like you I do remain optimistic in believing that the young couple you write about will be having coffee together 10 years from now. Like you said … “who know.” Great post.

  3. I am also moved by the same quote. There were those who thought my husband and I would never last but we have suprassed 30 years together now. One of the reasons we have remained loving partners in life is because we shared our dreams and helped each other make them come ture.

  4. That is a great line. I’m more cynical than I used to be, but in my heart of hearts, I’m a romantic. Possibilities are what make life worth living. If you stop seeing them, you might as well pack it in. .

  5. I like that line too. That one line inspired the whole blog. And now after the blog, it is doing rounds on my facebook circle as status updates!

    Thank you for liking it 🙂 Makes me smile that you too believe in believing.
    To dreaming!

  6. midaevalmaiden

    Every now and then Ill see a very old couple who are still smiling and doing things for eachother. Walking beside eachother instead of one in front, the other behind and disinterested. I love when I see it, and always try to speak to them about their marriage. Most often they will give the same advice while laughing the word ‘compromise’ comes up again and again. I want to be like those old people if It is at al possible.

    I too have noticed I have become more jaded over the years. I used to love the concept of chivalry and fairy tales. Now a day, I tear things down in my mind with my bitter thoughts. I wish it were not always so. Recently I found a blog that like none others, is able to re awaken my optimism: http://roughwaterjohn.wordpress.com/ Hope its ok to leave the link? 🙂

    • You’ll get there. Someone like you, so full of life, no reason why you wouldn’t make it.

      We start tearing things down with our bitterness as we grow and it takes a lot of conscious efforts to keep that little child within alive. And I have started using all possible sources to keep it alive. Thanks for the link, I’m definitely taking your words and visiting this page. You can never have too much positivity after all 🙂

  7. Lovely writing, important idea. Cynicism is corrosive.

    Congratulations on your insightful blog . . . so happy to have found it!

  8. Thanks for the post, it brightened up my day.

    There still is hope in this world, after all – that’s the one thing we should never lose… isn’t it?

  9. Very true! I actually like my coffee really bitter and so I guess, my reality with a layer of sweet jelly inside! 🙂 That was indeed a wonderful line you had there! But hey, keep that flame burning, the child in you, because when that goes away, all that’s left will be a machine churning through the days.

    Btw your description of the coffee place reminded me of the “cafe kundera” in the book Bastard of Istanbul.

    • Now that is one reason I love blogging, I get to add new books to my ‘must-read’ list. Thanks for the tip 🙂

      Yes I make a conscious effort now to keep the flame burning. Never want to turn into that machine again.
      Love having you here, thanks for coming back again

  10. Hey thanks for stopping by!

  11. like the blog, written well and its both short and sweet. good job.

  12. I really like this post.
    I’m actually more of a cynic, and when it comes to predicting the future I usually don’t believe people’s dreams would come true. I myself don’t really have dream – there aren’t many things I want to achieve, and if I do want to achieve something I either know I would sooner or later stop wanting it, or know I don’t really care much about it.
    But, and here’s the biggy – when it comes to the near future, and I know I want something, I’m impulsive and can have the optimism of an idiot. And you know what? Many times very irrational things happen to me because of that, things I wanted to happen. Things like bumping into people when there was almost no chance at all it would happen.

    So, I’m not sure whether you should call me an optimistic or a cynic. But this post inspired me, and I thing I’m gonna write a post of my own one ^^

    • That is an interesting response. I have always had dreams that I wanted badly, so I wouldn’t know anything about letting them go. But hey, if good things happen to you, why complain eh? Glad to inspire you, waiting anxiously for your blog now 🙂

      • I don’t know how to let ago. I just wait (not actually wait, really, but rather afraid of it to happen) that I wouldn’t desire these dreams anymore.
        I’m afraid it’s gonna take a while – I missed the train, so to speak. Perhaps you could inspire me again ^^
        BTW – the blog’s font it really tiny, or is it me?

  13. I dreamed, I fought, I won. Many did not believe I would prevail against a government, but I did, we did. Never give up the dream!

  14. I very much enjoyed this post. You have a sweet insightful heart. I think life tends to beat the joy of our dreams … it tends to make them seem foolish. I had an old pastor who wrote in my bible when I graduated from High School. He wrote, “Doubt your doubts and believe.” Those words have followed me all throughout my life and every time I begin to become to too cynical they tug on my heart and I open my heart yet again.

    I am 47, almost 48 and I am deeply in love with the man I married 23 years ago. I have lived through terrible personal trauma and still … I find that there is reason to hope … to dream. My writing my blog was one of my old dreams pulled out of the “dead-and-gone” box.

    So I pass on to you … that wonderful saying … Always remember and never forget, “Doubt your doubts and believe.” 🙂

    Thanks for making me remember.

    • Glad that you like the post. That is a wonderful quote. I am writing it down and pinning it on my table. I am going to keep that with me as a pearl. So, whenever you see the pastor, you’ll have to thank him from my side too. Thank you so much 🙂

  15. Samarpan Nawlakha

    Landing on your blog was an accident. Nevertheless, I must say amazing work. I second all of those complements given above. Wonderful and remarkably lucid use of language here.
    Never believed my Indore had people with such amazing verbal abilities. *Feels proud* 😀

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