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“Carol you are next. Hurry! Lekha, you’ll enter the stage from the left”, I yelled in the dressing room. Frantic assistants, unruffled designers, attentive make-up crew and skimpy or barely clad models thronged the dressing room of the fashion show. Loud music, flashy lights, designer clothes, cigarette smoke and bouquet of wine created the ambience. My part for the next 45 minutes was to put a rhythm to the frenzied chaos.

“You are next, be quick”, I said to another model after a few minutes. The assistants were attending to her clothes while she took another quick gulp of wine.

She had already consumed three cigarettes and almost a bottle of wine. She was wearing a fine gown and finer make up. She was one of the celebrated models of the country that many girls idolize. In a few minutes, a crowd of 200 would be cheering for her. She looked every bit stunning and had had enough wine to make her feel stunning too. For anybody else, nothing about her would have reflected anything but confidence.Yet when she put her glass down to take a look at the mirror, for a second the supermodel froze.

The mirror showed her everything she wanted to see; but a mirror does not speak all that one should hear. Not just seeing, it takes a lot more for believing.

I freeze when I press the ‘Publish’ button for my blog posts. I am aware that I can write satisfactorily. I received my first compliment about my writing by my school teacher who still had to teach a lot about words and grammar. My works have made it to reputed national dailies. I may not be the best but I am good enough to write a blog post. Yet there is one tiny moment before I publish the post where I stop.

What keeps me going? Words. Your words. I might not remember what I wrote after a few days, but I would remember what you wrote. The short comment, the long comment, critique, praise, I remember them all. Some only comment out of their love for me, some are subtly or bluntly advertising their own blogs. Yet I crave for those words. I hold all those ‘like’s dearly. I recall the words of encouragement and faith received about my writing, for this blog or elsewhere. And that is when I find the courage to dispel the doubts.

We all often need words to go keep moving, to clear those grey shadows of suspicion and fear. We all keep looking for those words incessantly. And we deserve it too.

The mirror does not speak. Lifeless work does not speak. But thoughtful words resonate in the mind and speak back to us when we need them.

“You look perfect. Let’s go”, I said to her. If it hadn’t been a frantic dressing room, I would have said more. If she wouldn’t have had a crowd to impress in a minute, she would have responded with more than a smile. It was my time to be the speaking mirror. And I will continue to be one when I have to.


About sayali611

Spent a lifetime building a wall around myself, only to realize that what remained inside was as hideous as anything I would protect myself from. This blog is my attempt to break free, one brick at a time, and to make sense of what was blocked out.

Posted on July 3, 2011, in happiness, Kindness, Life, Life-lesson, People, Words, Work and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 44 Comments.

  1. That was lovely. Honest.
    This is the best one yet.. keep it up!

  2. Compelling . . .this piece is not just a “blog post”. You’ve created a scene with sounds and smells and crackling energy. You dropped me in the middle of a world I’ve never experienced and left me wide-eyed to know more! Brava!!

    And in case you need reminding? You ARE a mirror to many of your fellow bloggers. I appreciate your comments for the gifts they are. Thanks for another fascinating, well-written slice of life.

    • You are very sweet. And your compliments are sweeter. It is always good to be reminded. I hadn’t realized the importance of the speaking mirror so profoundly before this incident. Glad my words mean to you. Always great to have you here.

      The fashion show. Oh its a different world with a its own persona. Specially the backstage. Crazy to the level of creepy yet completely organized. We have another one coming up soon, so I might get a chance to take you there again 😉

  3. You’ve written something true and honest. As writers I believe that we seek the voice of others. I want to know what you think about what I just shared with you. This is your best post. You have such emotion and passion in your words.

    • Everybody needs those words. It is an irony that writers depend on other people’s words too. But there is no substitute for those kind words I guess.
      Thank you Lafemme. Adore that compliment. Adore you.

  4. Simply superb Sayali!! Best of all the blogs I’ve read.. Maybe other blogs were as deep as well but the mirror this time reflects the best image (here words) of yours.. Having said that; there is a stage, when one looks at mirror, without waiting for it to speak.

    You write well & surely comments help, but would say write with no mirrors in mind 🙂 Free flow is anyways there let the mirror go.. Many times these comments or that mirror is not good enough to “comment on” n you’ll see another dimension to your writing..

    BTW u may ignore this “comment” as well 😛

    • Thank you 🙂 I think I have a long way to go before I can let the mirror go. But I’m trying and getting a little better at it. With time I hope I’ll get there.
      And ignore the comment? What kind of writer would I be if I don’t value words. Your first comment on my blog will be cherished, not ignored 🙂

  5. Your writing achieves what we all strive for. It paints a picture while encouraging the reader to think. If you ever stop hesitating before you press ‘publish’ then it’s time to stop writing. You freeze because you care about what the words are.

    • Now you have got me thinking. So true, I freeze because I care for the words. And this is exactly what I mean by the power of words. Next time I freeze, I am going to recall your comment, thank you silently again and this will help me move ahead, quickly this time I bet. You are very generous with those words. Thank you so much. Made my day 🙂

  6. I don’t think you have anything to worry about, young lady. Your writing is skillful and truthful. Good work!

    • Thank you so much. Kind words of reassurance is all we need. How bold we become when we know we are going to be loved.
      And thanks for the ‘young lady’ too 🙂 Sigh, I love the sound of that.

  7. You are an excellent writer and I’m enjoying reading all of your posts. Blog on!

  8. Yes, people often forget how much short comments help. Even when they say nothing bu ‘I read this’, or ‘I liked this’. ‘Hearing’ these voices really does help go on. This is why I almost always comment when I read something, even when I have nothing to say.

    I added a poll to one of my posts lately. Nine people voted. One replied.
    That pretty much sums it up, I guess.

  9. Great reminder that taking just a few moments to offer some feedback to someone can make a lot of difference!

    • It does. A huge difference. The biggest compliment I ever had was from my school teacher who said a tiny line in my answer sheet, “If you play with words like this, you are allowed to play in my class.” Nothing out of the ordinary for her, made a huge difference for me.

  10. You beautiful girl…how is it possible that you freeze when you hit the publish button? Love reading your stuff… you must be a very sensitive person in life… I love your sense of style, your gentle compassionate way…if i could bottle it, I would use it sparingly like an expensive bottle of cologne that I love…


    • Thank you 🙂 I guess I am still sensitive when it comes to the blog and some other things. I do freeze because I still get worried. Hope that changes soon.
      And, it by definition isn’t compassion anymore if you bottle it and use it sparingly

  11. Your job sounds pretty exciting, write more about it!

  12. You write more than ‘satisfactorily’! I like to ‘hear’ you thinking as you write — nudging us into thinking about the meaning behind apparently trivial events. Words do have great power — you are right about that.

  13. Good post; I enjoyed it. It’s a nice feeling when you are someone’s “mirror”.

  14. midaevalmaiden

    The concept of the speaking mirror is new to me. I like it. It ads a personal aspect to the notion of blogging that I had not considered. After reading everyones comments, Im at a loss for words now. Except that we are all each others mirrors. You have a very interesting job, now I understand were that elegant intricate woven writing style come from. 🙂

    • We are aren’t we. And you are one gorgeous mirror to have. Did I tell you I love your comments? Probably did, but might as well say it again 🙂
      My job, oh yes love it. Will write more about it soon. It isn’t always the fashion shows though, but complete fun.

  15. “I freeze when I press the ‘Publish’ button for my blog posts.” Love it, that’s me all over, but I cracked my mirror years ago and threw it into next doors garden lol 🙂

  16. I only have one mirror in my house. Great article and so very true. We are all mirrors in our own way to those around us.

  17. Lovely, this post has such a warm and honest feeling to it.

  18. Hi! Lovely post about words and what they mean to you personally. But not only to you… I, too, live and lose sleep by the word. You put into words what so many of us feel. Bravo!

    I found you through the CC Club. I’m subscribing to your blog so I can keep up to date on your wise and wonderful thoughts.


  19. Well said. It’s difficult to putting your thoughts out there, but I commend you for it.

  20. Sounds like a script! Well written

  21. Really enjoyed reading that. I am trying to catch up on all my CCC’s. Girl … loved the writing. Now, the comments you leave me have new meaning. Thank you so very much. 🙂

  22. I really enjoyed reading this, you articulated the feeling of those seconds before you click submit so well.

  23. Glad you like it. Thanks for stopping by.

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