To friend or not to friend…

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I wonder why humans have to be social animals were we could have well been anti-social-sane-beings. While I am very sociable, warm and friendly otherwise (Hush Mom! Not now), there are some legit reasons why I have grown to hate the social networking websites:

All the characters mentioned here are constantly bugging us with their presence fictitious. Resemblance to any person living or dead is their karma purely coincidental.

  • The pixie-rainbow-princess-fairy: The girl, who posts photos of puppies, tags her friends in random quote-photographs and adds a tiny heart after all her comments. Says ‘super-like’ for a compliment. Likes the ‘Hello Kitty’ page. And then ‘likes’ her own notification of liking the page. Too. Much. Saccharine.
  •  “Look Mommy, no photographic skills”: Mommy told the kid, he could achieve anything he wanted to when he grows up. Mommy didn’t know that tricky cameraswere one day going to evolve into seemingly-user friendly SLRs. Kid now updates the newsfeed with photographs of flowers, strangers, inanimate objects and street dogs every day. One day, Mommy finally unsubscribed from his updates.
  • Yin-yang, till your head goes bang: Confucius has got nothing on these gifted beings. They begin their sentences with “Sometimes, in life…” and end it with an utterly lame insightful moral. Follow their walls carefully. Because sometimes in life, a status update is all you need to deal with your real life troubles.
  • Mad-for-each-other: “This is your best photo, gorgeous *wink*.” “Lol! U say that forall my pics. Lol.” “That is because they are all that good *wink*” “Awwww. Ur so sweet. Lol.” I read it once. I didn’t want to feel alone. So I made you read it too. You may now join the Suffered-gooey-talks Club.
  • Old is mold: “Hi ” “Hello” “What’s up?” “Nothing much. You tell.” “Nothing much.” “…..” When chat conversations start trailing off like this every time, you know there was a reason why you weren’t friends during all those years of your schooling.
  • ESPN – Energetically Seeing. Playing Nothing: After a few days of their presence in your friend list, the sports section of the newspaper would become vestigial. Because they were narrating every match to you, minute-by-minute, in a manner that would give competition to the narration that Sanjay in Mahabharat gave to a blind Dhritrashtra.
  •  Legen – wait for it – drollery! They have been to the gym. They won’t say it out loud, but they would let you know. Flexing those muscles while posing in a group photo. With a weird pout and a weirder look. Again and again, photo after photo, so you can revise it all well.
  • Silent predators: The people who are hardly active online, neither posting anything themselves nor responding to your posts. But for some reason, would sit down and write an 8 point article on behavior analysis of people using social networking sites.

About sayali611

Spent a lifetime building a wall around myself, only to realize that what remained inside was as hideous as anything I would protect myself from. This blog is my attempt to break free, one brick at a time, and to make sense of what was blocked out.

Posted on January 14, 2012, in Life, Life-lesson, People, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 11 Comments.

  1. I haven’t delved into the world of social networking, and this post (which is superb and hysterical) is part of the reason why. I’ve heard enough “horror” stories that I just figured I’d save myself the pain and stay away from all that I’m not missing! 😉

  2. I’m still old-fashioned. I’m on a few, but really, give me a real person any day!

  3. haha this is epic. this is why we love/hate social media.. you gotta admit, its entertaining.

  4. I haven’t been categorized in this. Boo hoo.

    Just in case you think of adding my kind to the list,
    We are the silent lurkers, reading every single post online and then bashing all of them for their tomfoolery, so much that I’ve been banned quite a few times.

  5. I nominated you for a Candle Lighter Award.More info here:

    Thank you for your contributions to our community.

  6. Sorry I haven’t been around much lately, but my book, The Bellman Chronicles, will be FREE to download on Sept. 10 – 11! Check it out on my Amazon Kindle page.. You won’t be disappointed. And if you can slip me a review, I’d be forever grateful…

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